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One of the kids in my neighborhood is trying to decide whether to go on a mission. Ben is
your average 19-year-old, which means he has the heart, manners and intellectual prowess of a
good hound dog.
It's been interesting to watch Ben try to absorb all the well-meaning advice directed his way.
The fact that he has not yet killed any of the people giving him this advice seems to indicate that
he is handling it well.
For Mormon boys, church missions are an important rite of passage. Regardless of the noises
they make growing up, whether or not to go is the first adult decision Mormon boys get to make
on their own. As such, a lot of people try to make it for them.
When it comes to a mission, social pressure can be extreme. If it is not Mom and Dad and
Aunt Frett ``advising'' you to go because God will sulk if you do not, it is your pals telling you to
stay home and party. Somewhere in the mix is a girlfriend who cries a lot, and who will probably
end up with someone else no matter what you do.
Mercifully, I missed all this. Mainly because nobody thought I would go. Not my parents, not
the bishop, not the police, and sure as hell not my thug friends. I figured it was none of their
business until I actually made up my mind. It was the first time in my life that I was right about
something important.
When I decided to go, my parents were glad. Although, truthfully, it probably had less to do
with me doing the right thing than it did with the fact that they no longer had to worry about
strangling me.
My friends were unhappy. Later, I came to understand that this was because jail is always a
nicer experience when you have company.
In any case, I had a wonderful/horrible time. A lot depended on my frame of mind.
Assuming that the point is how best to serve God, logic dictates that the best advice will come
from him. The hard part is trying to sort out what God thinks from all the yammering everyone
else is doing. It gets even harder when what God wants runs counter to the crowd.
As upsetting as it sometimes is for the orthodoxy, God has different plans for different people.
Which means that even though your parents want you to go on a mission so badly that they will
buy you a new car when you get home, God may want you to go to graduate school or get
married instead.
When that happens, making up your mind is the easy part. See, even though it is really none of
their business, the consensus of the group is that there is something wrong with you if you do not
go. After all, nothing disturbs a herd more than a maverick.
Ironically, this is another very important rite of passage for some Mormon boys. To truly serve
God, sometimes you have to tell the group where to get off.
First, however, you have to be sure you made the right decision. And when it comes to matters
of faith, there is only one place you can go to be sure.
Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Kirby lives in Springville. The self-described
``OxyMormon'' welcomes mail at P.O. Box 684, Springville, UT 84663, or e-mail at
rkirby@sltrib.com.